It’s Ok Not to Be Ok Mama

All we really want is for someone to relate

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Being a parent is both miraculous and rewarding. It is also exceptionally difficult in some moments. We are blessed to be part of a generation that has started sharing the good and the difficult parts of the journey with each other openly because there is power in understanding and being understood. In knowing that we are not alone. Sharing some of my difficulties (especially in my first year postpartum) has been a big part of helping me cope: postpartum baby blues, mom guilt, struggling to be present mom and a present employee, being exhausted all the time, feeling overwhelmed for no particular reason, attempting to reconnect with myself postpartum and finding that the old me was gone, grieving the loss of my old normal and embracing and loving the new one… I could go on. Something about acknowledging what I am going through and hearing other women say “me too” or “I went through it too and this is how I got past it” or “I didn’t know that could happen” or “I didn’t know that there was a word for it” was both empowering and healing.

We just want to know that we’re not going through this alone, that there are other people out there feeling the same things were feeling, the pain, the sadness, the confusion, the guilt, the overwhelming feeling that we’re in over our head. We just want to know there’s someone else going through the same thing.

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In this post I talk about about some of the ways to cope: Success, Like Raising a Baby, Takes a Village (Book Review – “Pressure Cooker – Lessons from a woman at work.”)

Here is a brief video of some mothers talking about their “not ok” moments

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Dakalo says:

    Feeling of not good enough makes me cry all the time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Chio says:

      I think I understand and relate 100%. Most mothers (from stay-at-home to working mothers to all the ones inbetween) struggle with feeling some level of inadequacy and guilt. I noticed that this issue affects people across the board regardless of who they are and where they come from. This has led to believe that we generally feel this way for 1 or 2 or both reasons:
      We love these children so so much that we want to give them the entire world. So we go out in search of that world to give them but it is difficult and we start to feel that we have failed. We sometimes miss the truth that giving our children the world is showing them that they can go for it and how. Giving our best in love is giving them the world.

      Then there is the unconscious mind that has been taught what a good mum looks like from when we were kids. Thing is, that standard is an illusion created in a different time and it can not apply anymore. But we still tune into it in social media pictures or TV or other places because we were taught to and whenever we see it, we feel inadequate because we are not that.

      One of the ways I have dealt with this is carefully curating my social media feed so that I connect with people who are like me, feel like me and are trying like me. In other words, I found a community that sets a new standard so I can see something different and also be reassured that I am not alone. We are all trying together. That gives me comfort. I hope this helpful to you. Sending you all the love xx

      Like

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